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Standing in the dark with thousands of people listening to an entire album play in a semi-hotboxed Madison Square Garden while watching a slow-moving human statue is the only way I'm listening to music from now on.ĥ:12pm: "Wolves," but a different version than before, featuring the long-absent Frank Ocean instead of Vic Mensa and Sia.ĥ:18pm: An audience member disses Michael Jordan, which does not please Kanye. (It might be the weed fumes? It's the weed fumes.) But regardless, I am loving this. The weed smell is overpowering.ĥ:10pm: Pretty sure I'm having a numinous out-of-body experience right now. He starts off by talking about how he misses the old Kanye: "I hate the new Kanye, the bad mood Kanye, the always rude Kanye, spaz in the news Kanye." Then he gets super meta: "What if Kanye made a song about Kanye called 'I miss the old Kanye?' Man, that would be so Kanye." He was definitely high when he wrote this.ĥ:03pm: On that note, Madison Square Garden is pretty much hotboxed. That is also 1) not true, 2) offensive to my feminist sensibilities, 3) definitely the end of the nascent KanTay friendship, and 4) still not enough to turn me off Kanye.Ĥ:57pm: On "High Lights," we get even more diss lines, like "I bet me and Ray J would be friends if we ain't love the same bitch," and "Blac Chyna f-kin' Rob, help them with the weight, I wish my trainer would tell me what I overate." Ah!ĥ:02pm: Time for "Feedback," which features Kanye rapping about - what else? - himself. The lyrics have moved away from sappy family stuff and are now squarely in tabloid catfight zone.Ĥ:54pm: Drama alert! Kanye just rapped: "I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex, I made that bitch famous." Ouch. Feels like a performance art installation (which it basically is it was put together by conceptual artist Vanessa Beecroft).Ĥ:53pm: Now we get "Famous," feat. The models are moving occasionally - it's kind of like a very slow-moving statue. I think some of the models have tears in their eyes? The color palate is lots of red, orange and burgundy, and it has a kind of scorched desert vibe to it. Some are on the ground, while others are atop two raised pedestals draped in cloth. There are tons of models standing dead still and looking very serious.
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Lots of gospel choruses and Kanye getting deep with lines like "deliver us liberty, deliver us peace, deliver us love," plus a hot-as-fire verse by Chance The Rapper.Ĥ:40pm: The dome has lifted! I am not a fashion person (again, why am I here?!) but it looks very cool. How much did I spend on this again?Ĥ:39pm: "Ultra Light Beam" sounds awesome. So, yep, Kanye is just gonna play the album from his computer while he dances and chills with his friends.
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It's called "Ultra Light Beam." "Feel free to dance, move, whatever y'all want to do," Kanye says. Pretty sure Kanye is going to control MSG's entire speaker system for a sold-out audience with an aux cord.Ĥ:38pm: The first track plays. Also lots of people screaming for Kylie.Ĥ:37pm: Kanye just asked for the aux cord and you could hear the static when it's plugged in. They are wearing lots of diamonds, feathers and white fur. I let out an audible squeal, which I did not see coming, but that is apparently the effect that real-life Kardashians have on me. I briefly entertain the idea of waiting and getting awesome TLOP tees for all my family and friends, but the line's not moving, so I give up and go inside.Ĥ:30pm: THE KARDASHIANS ARE HERE.
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People are walking around with bags and bags full of swag like they're at a sample sale and/or stockpiling warm clothes for an upcoming thermonuclear winter.
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What's under there!?Ĥ:20pm: The show has still not started - which I imagine is way more annoying for the people watching the livestream in 700 movie theaters around the world - so I go out to check on the merch line. The ushers are shaking the edges like they're trying to ventilate something underneath, or else they're about to play a big MSG-wide game of parachute. 4:00pm: I have reached my seat! There is a giant orb made of some sort of shimmering fabric.